Canadian and Japanese Ways of Showing Affection: Love Languages Across Cultures
Love can look different depending on where you are from
Every relationship relies on connection, but the way people give and receive love varies across cultures. In Canada, affection often comes through words and physical touch. In Japan, love is more commonly shown through actions, patience, or quiet acts of responsibility. When Canadian and Japanese partners come together, these different approaches can lead to both beautiful moments of learning or frustrating misunderstandings.
The Canadian approach to love languages
In Canada, many people grow up with the belief that love should be spoken out loud. Saying “I love you” often, giving compliments, and openly sharing emotions are considered healthy. Physical touch is also central, with hugs, hand-holding, and casual closeness used as everyday expressions of affection.
Typical signs of Canadian affection include:
Verbal affirmations like “I love you,” “I’m proud of you,” or “You mean so much to me.”
Physical touch both in private and in public.
Celebrating milestones with gifts, trips, or special events.
Expectation: Affection should be frequent, clear, and unambiguous.
Where conflict can arise: A Canadian partner may see a lack of words or touch as emotional distance.
The Japanese approach to love languages
In Japanese culture, love is often expressed less through words and more through actions. Open declarations of affection are less common, and restraint is sometimes seen as maturity or respect. Love is understood through reliability, care, and consistency rather than constant verbal affirmation.
Typical signs of affection include:
Preparing meals or helping with practical needs.
Being dependable and showing up without being asked.
Offering space or patience, especially during stressful times.
Expectation: Love should be understood without needing to say it often.
Where disappointment can arise: A Japanese partner may feel pressured to verbalize feelings that are already clear to them through their actions.
What gets lost in translation between Canadian and Japanese couples
When Canadian and Japanese partners communicate in different ways, the same action can mean two very different things.
A Canadian partner may expect to hear “I love you” daily, while a Japanese partner may feel it only needs to be said on rare or important occasions.
Silence may be thoughtful for one, but feel like avoidance for the other.
Cooking a favourite meal may be a strong sign of affection for one, but may go unnoticed if the other is waiting for verbal affirmation.
None of this means the relationship is failing. It simply means the couple is working across two different systems of expressing love.
Love languages between Canadian and Japanese partners
When love languages do not match, partners can easily misinterpret each other. A Canadian partner might feel unseen if they do not receive regular verbal affirmation. A Japanese partner might feel unappreciated if their acts of service are overlooked. These mismatches can create cycles of frustration if both partners assume their own way of showing love is universal.
But intercultural relationships also offer a chance to expand how love is understood. Couples can learn to recognise both words and actions as valid forms of affection, building a richer and more flexible relationship.
Tips for learning each other’s love languages
Couples can reduce misunderstandings by taking small but intentional steps:
Talk openly about needs: Share what makes you feel cared for, even if it feels awkward at first.
Notice gestures: Learn to see cooking, helping, or being present as acts of love.
Experiment: Try using your partner’s love language while teaching them your own.
Ask questions: Explore how love was expressed in your partner’s family or culture.
Avoid assumptions: A lack of words does not mean a lack of care, and frequent words do not mean care is shallow.
Closing thoughts
Love languages are shaped by culture as much as by personality. Canadians may expect frequent words and touch, while Japanese partners may show love through consistency, service, and patience. These differences can cause misunderstanding, but they can also help couples grow closer when both learn to see love in new ways. Love does not always look or sound the way you expect, but it can still be deeply felt.
Frequently Asked Questions (FAQs) about Canadian and Japanese ways of showing affection
Why do Canadians say “I love you” so often?
In Canada, emotional openness and direct verbal expression are valued. Repeating “I love you” is considered a normal way of maintaining closeness.Why do Japanese partners often avoid saying “I love you”?
In Japan, love is seen as something that should be felt and shown rather than spoken constantly. Actions, reliability, and care often carry more weight than repeated words.Can Canadian and Japanese love languages work together?
Yes. Many intercultural couples thrive by recognising both verbal affirmation and practical actions as valid and meaningful forms of love.How can therapy help with love language differences?
Therapy can provide a neutral space to talk about cultural expectations, reduce blame, and help couples build communication styles that make both partners feel seen.
About Chiharu Yanagawa
As a therapist in Vancouver, I often meet couples navigating cultural differences in how they express love. For Canadian and Japanese partners, mismatched love languages can sometimes feel like distance or misunderstanding; but they are often simply two different ways of showing care.
In my work, I help couples honour both words and actions as meaningful forms of affection, while finding shared ways to feel connected. Intercultural relationships can bring challenges, but they also offer an opportunity to expand how love is experienced and expressed. If you and your partner are struggling with these differences, know that support is available to help you build understanding, closeness, and balance between your two worlds.